Forget ‘Fight Island,’ we need HOT DOG ISLAND

The world of competitive eating was not immune to the coronavirus pandemic, and like every sport has been forced to adapt in its own way. On Tuesday TMZ reported that the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest will happen on the 4th of July, but under very different circumstances. There will be no fans in attendance, it will happen at a private location, and use a smaller field than previous years. It’s a smart move to be sure, but misses out on a major opportunity: HOT DOG ISLAND.

If the UFC can get an island to host fights, then competitive eating can do the same. We need to advocate for changes, and in a sports-deprived world we have the perfect scenario to turn the yearly hot dog gorging tradition into the can’t-miss sports event of 2020.

My pitch for ‘Hot Dog Island.’

The world of competitive eating is a sprint, not a marathon. ‘Hot Dog Island’ changes that. We aim to revolutionize the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest and turn it into a week-long, round-the-clock spectator event that will not only blend competitive eating and reality TV in ways we’ve never seen, but elevate the personal brand of eaters themselves.

50 of the world’s best eaters are dropped on Hot Dog Island with basic camping supplies and survival equipment. Each eater is accompanied by a small camera crew to document their eating, but not intervene in their challenge. The eaters will be strategically socially distances miles apart. This is to ensure not only the safety of the eaters, but the sanctity of the challenge.

One hour after landing it begins. The first of a series of hourly air drops, dumping crates of hot dogs on the island. Eaters will need to run to their sausage cache, grab as many as they can carry, haul them back to their eating station and start gorging. This air drop plan will continue 24 times a day, ensuring there’s always plenty of hot dogs, but create a balancing act for eaters. Do they make multiple trips back to the hot dog drops? Try to haul as many as possible in one trip? Different techniques lead to a layer of strategy we don’t normally see in the quick sprint world of eating as it stands.

This will all be accompanied with 24 hour livestreams with not only a top-down look at the contest as a whole, but opportunities for fans to directly watch their favorite eater as a micro level and focus down on individuals. We can elevate the stardom of eaters, eating and hot dogs all in one event. It’s a way to extend the 4th of July for a full week, because we deserve it.

At the end of the week we’ll have a winner. Not only of a hot dog eating contest, but a survival challenge the likes of which the world has never seen before. If you don’t think this is the best idea you’ve heard all week then you hate fun. If you, like me, believe we need this in a world gone mad then you’ll help and sign my petition.

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